One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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