pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
