my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
