at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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