the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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