my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
