Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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