You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
