I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
