Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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