i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize