In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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