So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize