he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
