I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
