In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
