But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
