Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
