The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize