Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
