so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
