K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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