I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
