You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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