I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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