i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
