pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
