my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize