don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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