I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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