You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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