Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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