I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
