Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
