it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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