This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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