Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
