My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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