do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
