shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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