Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
