Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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