am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
