sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
