Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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