Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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