I am puke
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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