it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
