dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
