I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize