i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
