I got chris browned last night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This house was built for laser tag.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
