Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
