4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
