Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
