dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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