I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
