I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You ruined the universe
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
