Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
