Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
