He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
