We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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